Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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