you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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