sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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