I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
