Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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