On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
