windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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