I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
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