Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
