If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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