I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
