my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
