do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
