Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
