i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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