i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
