Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
