Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
