the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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