you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
