Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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