some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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