I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Your mouth is God's brothel.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
