I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
