Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
