I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
