don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
