mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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