i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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