Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
