i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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