Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
