He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
