I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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