my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
third nipple confirmed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
