No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have post one night stand depression
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