Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
