No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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