im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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