you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
