You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
