Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
