i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
