Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
