So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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