is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
