She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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