To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I will be naked everywhere
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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