.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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