i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
