I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
