i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
