My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
