@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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