There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So here I am, sexting at work.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
