I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
