i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
